Local hero John Smith has taken the world by storm after breaking the Guinness World Record for the fastest time to fold and throw a paper plane. Smith’s impressive feat has been the talk of the town and now the entire globe.
You read that right folks, a grown man has achieved greatness by folding and throwing a piece of paper.
Not since the invention of the wheel has mankind been so inspired.
The world was on the edge of its seat as Smith nervously picked up a piece of paper and began to fold it. Spectators held their breath as he carefully crafted his masterpiece, taking note of the precise angles and folds needed to create the ultimate paper airplane.
After what felt like an eternity, Smith triumphantly threw his paper plane into the air with great force. The crowd erupted in cheers as the paper plane soared through the air, clearly impressed by the aerodynamics of Smith’s creation.
This incredible achievement begs the question, what’s next? The fastest time to tie a shoe? The most efficient way to fold a fitted sheet? The possibilities are truly endless.
Smith has undoubtedly secured his place in history, joining the ranks of other important record breakers such as the person who can fit the most marshmallows in their mouth at one time, or the man who can sing the ABC’s backward while juggling flamingos.
One can only imagine the amount of training and dedication Smith put into achieving this incredible feat. Perhaps he had a personal coach to guide him in the art of paper airplane folding, or maybe he just lives a very empty and sad life.
Regardless, Smith is now a role model for all of us. Who needs to cure diseases or end world hunger when you can fold and throw a piece of paper like a champion?
It is safe to say that our lives are all forever changed by this monumental achievement. From now on, every piece of paper we touch will hold a special place in our hearts and remind us of the greatness that is John Smith.
So, let’s all raise a glass of champagne to John Smith and his incredible world record, and let’s all strive to be just like him. Because, let’s face it, who doesn’t want to be known for folding a piece of paper in record time?
