The world is mourning today as one of the most influential advisers to US presidents, Henry Kissinger, took his last breath at the ripe old age of 100. Politicians and diplomats across the globe have offered their condolences, expressing their sadness at the loss of a “great mind” and “true visionary”. But what exactly did Henry Kissinger do that was so great, you may ask? Let’s take a closer look at the life of this esteemed diplomat.
Henry Kissinger was born in Germany in 1923, and if there’s one thing we can thank him for, it’s his decision to leave that country before things got really bad. After fleeing the Nazis and making his way to the United States, Kissinger quickly worked his way up through the ranks of academia, eventually landing a job at Harvard University. It was there that he began his lifelong quest to make people think he was smarter than he actually was.
Kissinger’s big break came in 1968, when he was appointed National Security Advisor to President Nixon. As part of his duties, Kissinger helped plan and execute the secret bombing campaign of Cambodia, which killed tens of thousands of innocent civilians. This, of course, was all in the name of freedom and democracy, so we can’t really fault Kissinger for that one.
From there, Kissinger went on to become Secretary of State under Nixon, and later, Gerald Ford. During his time in office, he made a name for himself as a master of diplomacy, negotiating foreign policy deals that were almost as convoluted as his sentences. He helped facilitate the opening of US relations with China, which was certainly a big deal, even if it did involve a lot of awkward small talk over tea.
Kissinger was also instrumental in the Paris Peace Accords, which ended the Vietnam War. Of course, the fact that the war had already been going on for more than a decade and had claimed the lives of thousands of American soldiers and Vietnamese civilians was just a minor detail.
But for all of his achievements, Kissinger was not without his flaws. He was accused of war crimes in Cambodia and other countries, and even won a Nobel Peace Prize for his efforts in Vietnam. (We’re not kidding. Look it up.) And let’s not forget that time he ordered the illegal wiretapping of his own staff members. Classic Henry!
In his later years, Kissinger continued to write books and give speeches that left people nodding politely and wondering what the hell he was talking about. He remained a prominent figure in US foreign policy, offering advice to politicians and bloodthirsty dictators alike. For all we know, he could have been secretly running the world this whole time.
So yes, Henry Kissinger was a great man, a true visionary, and a shining example of what can be accomplished when you’re willing to bend the rules (and the truth) just a little bit. We’ll miss you, Henry. Thanks for all the memories.
