Headline: “NASA Somehow Manages to Misplace $100,000 Tool Bag in Outer Space”
In a move that can only be described as out of this world, NASA has announced that it has somehow misplaced a $100,000 tool bag during a spacewalk. According to officials, the bag was lost somewhere in the vast expanse of space, which should come as a huge comfort to taxpayers who are already footing the bill for the agency’s expensive endeavors.
The bag in question was reportedly stuffed with a variety of tools, including a space drill, wrenches, and other important equipment that astronauts need to perform scientific experiments and repairs while floating around in zero gravity. However, due to a “communications breakdown,” the bag was accidentally released and sent hurtling into space, where it will join countless other pieces of orbital debris.
NASA has assured the public that the tool bag does not pose any immediate danger to the International Space Station or any other spacecraft in the area. “It’s a big universe out there, and we’re confident that the bag will just…float away into the void,” said one official.
However, some critics are questioning why NASA would even bother sending a $100,000 tool bag into space in the first place. “What exactly is in this bag that’s so important that we need to spend six figures on it?” asked one commentator. “Can’t we just use duct tape and a Swiss Army knife like in the movies?”
Of course, this isn’t the first time that NASA has had a bit of a mishap in space. Over the years, the agency has destroyed billions of dollars worth of equipment in unintended accidents, including a $150 million satellite that crashed into the ocean in 2005. In fact, some experts estimate that the agency loses up to $300 million in hardware each year due to various errors and malfunctions.
Nevertheless, NASA is soldiering on with its space exploration plans, despite these setbacks. The agency is currently working on a plan to send astronauts back to the moon by 2024, a mission that’s expected to cost billions of dollars and require massive amounts of new technology.
No word yet on whether a new $100,000 tool bag will be sent up to replace the lost one. But with NASA’s track record, who’s to say that the next one won’t just end up floating off into the great beyond as well?
