Bambi on the Loose: Deer Breaks into Elementary School in New Jersey
In shocking news coming out of New Jersey, a deer somehow managed to break into an elementary school. Yes, you read that right. A deer. In a school. And if that wasn’t bizarre enough, the police officers who responded to the call had to chase the deer through the hallways. Luckily, body cameras were rolling to capture the epic chase that unfolded.
Now, we know what you’re thinking. Why, oh why, would a deer want to break into a school? Was it looking for an education? Did it want to attend a PTA meeting? While we may never know the true intentions of this furry intruder, we can only assume that it wanted to check out the latest math textbooks and see if its hooves were eligible for a scholarship.
But the real question is, what kind of security does this elementary school have? Did they leave the doors unlocked? Was there a love note attached to the brick that the deer used to break the window? We demand an investigation into the security measures of this educational institution. I mean, we can’t have rogue deer just waltzing into classrooms and disrupting standardized testing, can we?
In all seriousness, though, the police officers who responded to the call handled the situation as best as they could. They tried to catch the deer without causing it any harm, and thankfully, no one was injured during the chase. We commend them for their quick thinking and bravery in the face of such a dangerous situation. We can only imagine the stories they’ll have to tell their grandchildren one day.
Of course, this isn’t the first time we’ve seen animals breaking into unexpected places. Remember the time a kangaroo got into an Australian airport? Or the time a raccoon climbed up a skyscraper in Minnesota? It seems like animals are getting bolder and more fearless by the day.
But we have to hand it to this deer. Breaking into an elementary school is no small feat. We can only imagine the hours of preparation it took to plan this elaborate heist. Maybe it had a partner in crime who distracted the security guard while it slipped past undetected. Perhaps it even had a customized backpack to hold the loot it planned on stealing (we’re picturing freshly sharpened pencils and a brand new lunchbox).
Overall, we’re glad this story had a happy ending. The deer was eventually caught and released back into the wild. The elementary school, meanwhile, is likely investing in some upgraded security measures to prevent any future break-ins. Who knows what kind of animal will try to break in next? A bear looking for some honey? A fox trying to steal a copy of “Fantastic Mr. Fox”? The possibilities are endless.
