In a surprising turn of events, the world’s unluckiest pig has finally returned home after a harrowing 17 days on the lam. Kevin Bacon, the aptly named swine, somehow managed to evade capture for nearly three weeks despite being, well, a pig.
The adventurous hog embarked on his epic escape on a warm summer day, no doubt dreaming of a life free from the drudgery of being raised for bacon. It’s unclear what prompted him to make a run for it, but sources close to the situation speculate that he was just tired of the daily grind and wanted to see what else was out there.
Unfortunately for Kevin, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. As he roamed the countryside in search of adventure, he quickly came to realize that life on the run isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Nights were spent huddled in the underbrush, scrounging for scraps and dreaming of warm mud baths. Days were spent avoiding humans with nets, which is no easy feat when you’re a pig the size of a small car.
Despite his valiant efforts to elude capture, Kevin was finally apprehended by a group of local farmers who were tired of having their gardens raided by the ravenous hog. The group, who dubbed themselves the “Baconators,” spent days scouring the fields in search of Kevin, who had become something of a local celebrity in his absence.
When they finally caught up with him, Kevin was understandably exhausted. “He put up quite a fight,” said one of the Baconators. “We had to chase him clear across the county before we finally got him cornered. But once we had him, he was surprisingly calm. I think he was just happy to be going home.”
And go home he did. Kevin was loaded onto a truck and transported back to his farm, where he was greeted with open arms by his owners. “We were starting to think we’d never see him again,” said his owner, Sally McPorkchop. “It’s a relief to have him home safe and sound.”
Despite his brief taste of freedom, it seems that Kevin is content to go back to his old life as a farm pig. “he’s been much quieter since he got back,” said Sally. “I think he’s learned his lesson. From now on, he’s happy to just stick to the mud and slop.”
But for those who were swept up in the excitement of Kevin’s daring escape, the memories will last a lifetime. “I’ll never forget the day we finally caught him,” said one of the Baconators wistfully. “It was like a scene out of an action movie, except with more mud and squealing.”
For now, Kevin is back where he belongs: rolling around in the mud and enjoying the simple life. And who knows? Maybe one day he’ll get the itch to break free again. After all, they say every pig has his day.
