In an unprecedented turn of events, a Kentucky woman has won her second big lottery prize this year! The lucky woman, who wishes to remain anonymous (as if we can’t find out who she is), struck gold twice after already winning a sizeable sum just months ago. It seems Lady Luck has taken a special interest in this Kentucky resident, much to the chagrin of everyone else playing the lottery.
The Kentucky Lottery Commission announced the second win on Monday with a hint of bitterness in their tone. The spokesperson for the commission noted that this was a “unique” situation, where one person could win twice in such a short period. And yet, there she was, grinning ear-to-ear with a pile of cash bigger than most of us see in a lifetime.
When asked how she planned to use the money, the woman simply responded with a shrug, saying, “I’ll probably just add it to the pile.” It’s words like these that make the rest of us feel like we’re living in some kind of alternative universe. Instead of sweating away at work every day, we could all just win the lottery twice in the same year and call it a day.
As expected, many Kentucky residents are questioning the integrity of the lottery system itself. Some are suggesting that the woman may have some kind of inside information or access to the lottery system’s inner workings. Others just feel like the universe is conspiring against them and that the lottery is nothing more than a cruel joke.
The woman’s family and friends have rallied around her in support, probably so they can get a handout too. One relative noted that the woman is “just really lucky,” as if these things just fall out of the sky for some people. How convenient.
Of course, this second win has only fueled the woman’s appetite for the game. Sources close to her say that she’s already planning to invest her new winnings in even more lottery tickets, which seems like a great way to burn through cash. But hey, who are we to judge how people spend their money?
The Kentucky Lottery Commission has told the media that they will be closely reviewing the circumstances of the woman’s wins, as if that will make any difference to the rest of us unfortunate souls who can barely afford a cup of coffee. It seems like a slap in the face to everyone else who has played the lottery for years without a single win.
All we can do now is hope that lightning strikes twice for us too, because apparently, that’s how this game works these days. Congratulations to the lucky (and now doubly lucky) Kentucky woman. May she enjoy her winnings while the rest of us grind away at work, wondering when and if we’ll ever get lucky.
