In a thrilling spectacle of breakfast gone wrong, over 12,000 cereal boxes fell like dominoes in Detroit this past week. The sound of Snap, Crackle, and Pop could be heard all across the city as the sugary stacks came tumbling down.
Emergency crews rushed to the scene, expecting a devastating disaster. However, upon arrival they found only piles of Fruit Loops and Cheerios lying on the ground. No injuries were reported, except for a few soggy pieces caused by overflowing milk cartons in the nearby cafeteria.
The reason for this catastrophe is still unknown. Some speculate that a rogue gust of wind knocked the first box over, while others believe that General Mills and Kellogg’s have just taken their rivalry to a whole new level. Whatever the case may be, the true victims in this disaster are the children who will have to go without their morning cereal.
When asked for comment, Lucky the Leprechaun could only shake his head in disbelief. “This is the worst thing that’s happened in cereal history,” he said. “Those poor kids won’t have anything to eat before school now.”
The silver lining in all of this is that the cleanup effort provided a much-needed boost in the job market. Normally, the unemployment rate in Detroit is about as high as the fiber content in Cocoa Puffs. But thanks to the cascading cereal boxes, plenty of local residents were able to pick up work as custodians and cleanup crew members.
The mood in Detroit is understandably somber in the wake of this tragedy. But some citizens are already looking to the future and developing ways to prevent similar incidents from happening again. For example, Tony the Tiger is working on inventing a stronger, sturdier cereal box that won’t topple over so easily.
Only time will tell if Detroit will ever fully recover from this breakfast-related disaster. But one thing is for sure: the next time you pour yourself a bowl of cereal in the morning, take a moment to appreciate the stability of your cereal box. You never know when a gust of wind or a vindictive cereal company might knock it all down.
