In a feat of impressive ingenuity, a man from Missouri recently completed a 38.4 mile paddle in a hollowed-out pumpkin. Yes, you heard that right – a pumpkin. Forget kayaks or canoes, this pumpkin is the new way to traverse large bodies of water.
The man, who wishes to remain anonymous, reportedly spent months carving out the gourd to fit his body and his oars. And let’s be honest, who doesn’t have months of free time to carve a vessel out of a pumpkin?
The man’s journey began on a calm October morning, just as the leaves were changing colors and the air was getting crisp. He donned a pumpkin-colored wetsuit (because fashion is key, even when paddling in a vegetable) and set out on his journey down the local river.
As he paddled, bystanders reportedly looked on in amazement and confusion. Some even thought the man was a giant pumpkin floating down the river. It’s safe to say that this was not your average day on the river.
But the man was not deterred by the stares or the skeptical comments from passersby. He was on a mission, and that mission was to make it all the way downstream. And make it he did – 38.4 miles later, the man paddled his way to the finish line, pumpkin in tow.
The feat has garnered attention from pumpkin enthusiasts across the country, with some even calling for the creation of pumpkin paddling competitions. Who needs boring old rowing when you can paddle in a hollowed-out pumpkin, amirite?
But not everyone is on board with the fad. Critics have voiced concerns over the practicality and safety of using a pumpkin as a watercraft. After all, pumpkins are notoriously fragile and prone to rotting. And what happens when the pumpkin inevitably fills with water?
Despite the naysayers, the man stands by his pumpkin paddle and encourages others to give it a try. “It’s a totally normal thing to do,” he said in a recent interview. “Everybody should try it at least once. You haven’t really lived until you’ve paddled in a pumpkin.”
As for what’s next for the man and his pumpkin, he’s reportedly considering an even longer journey down the Mississippi River. Because why not? Who needs a fancy yacht or sailboat when a pumpkin will do?
In conclusion, this man’s pumpkin paddling journey is truly the stuff of legends. Move over, Christopher Columbus – the true pioneers of water travel are here, and they’re armed with nothing but orange gourds and a sense of adventure.
