Turin, Italy – In a world filled with ordinary people achieving extraordinary feats, one stunt driver has shown us again that nothing is impossible- except perhaps for not getting speeding tickets. The daredevil driver, whose name is yet to be released, broke the world record for driving on two wheels last Thursday.
The stunt, which took place in the beautiful Italian city of Turin, was witnessed by countless adoring fans who were left in awe as the driver zoomed by at an incredible speed. The journey lasted for almost 45 minutes, as the driver expertly maneuvered his vehicle through various obstacles, including sharp turns, hairpin bends, and—presumably—the occasional runaway cat.
The previous world record for driving on two wheels was held by a brave soul in the United States, who managed to drive for 10 minutes and 10 seconds. In comparison, the Italian stunt driver seemed to be in it for the long haul—or perhaps just really needed to go to the bathroom.
When asked how he managed to pull off such a daring feat, the driver reportedly said, “I just kept telling myself, ‘don’t fall, don’t fall…oh crap, I’m falling’.” We can only assume the ‘oh crap’ moment didn’t actually happen, given his impressive accomplishment.
The stunt has earned the driver a place in the history books of vehicular challenges and left audiences all over the world in admiration. “I can hardly believe what I saw,” said one spectator. “I mean, have you ever tried driving on two wheels? It’s bloody hard!” he added.
Of course, no record-breaking feat would be complete without companies eager to capitalize on it. The driver has reportedly been approached by numerous endorsements deals, ranging from tire companies to soft drink manufacturers. It remains unclear what he will decide given the overwhelming number of offers.
In the meantime, he can take solace in the fact that he has successfully lived out every young boy’s dream. Whether he was inspired by the daring acts of childhood heroes such as James Bond, or simply possesses nerves of steel and a death wish, remains a mystery.
Inevitably, there are some detractors who have criticized the stunt as being a waste of time and resources. “Why are we applauding someone for doing something so pointless?” said one disapproving onlooker. Well, anonymous onlooker, if heroic deeds and pushing the boundaries of human achievement are not what we should be applauding, then tell us – what should we be applauding? Your knitting skills?
For now, the world must wait to see what the next record-breaking feat will be. Perhaps someone will succeed in traveling through a time portal, or discover the ability to fly using only a bungee cord and an ice cream cone. But for now, we salute the new world record holder and patiently await his next jaw-dropping feat.
