“Florida Safari Park Celebrates Another Adorable Rhino Baby, Yawn.”
It’s always nice to have some good news to brighten up the day, and what better way to do it than with the birth of a cute little rhinoceros calf at a drive-through safari park? “Oh, how precious!” said absolutely no one who’s been following this story for the past 40 times.
Yes, you read that right. This is not the first or second or even tenth time the same Florida safari park has announced the arrival of a new rhino baby. It’s the 40th. Four-zero. Forty. FORTY. That’s enough rhinoceroses to fill a small country. Or to have their own reality TV show. “The Real Rhinos of Florida,” anyone?
The park’s press release was full of excitement, joy and gratitude for the “miracle of life,” noting that the baby’s mother is doing well and the calf is already bonding with the rest of the herd. That’s all well and good, but let’s be honest: after 40 rhinos, can we really call it a “miracle” anymore? Maybe it’s time to reevaluate the effectiveness of that rhinoceros birth control you’ve been using, Florida Safari Park.
Of course, the park’s visitors will be thrilled to see the new baby on their drive-through safari adventure, snapping selfies and gawking at the tiny horned creature. Because nothing says “family fun” like a bunch of wild animals being held captive in a glorified petting zoo.
It’s not just the redundancy of yet another rhino birth that’s grating on some animal rights activists, however. Many have expressed concerns about the ethics of breeding animals in captivity, particularly when they are endangered species, as rhinoceroses are. What kind of world are we creating for these animals when they are born into a life of captivity with little hope of ever returning to the wild?
But let’s not rain on the safari park’s parade. After all, they’re doing their best to keep their rhino breeding program going strong, even if it means producing the animal equivalent of a Duggar family. And who knows, maybe the 41st calf will be the one that finally breaks the mold and becomes a superstar in the rhino community. Or maybe it will just be another rhino calf. Either way, we’ll be keeping an eye out for the next press release. And maybe investing in some earplugs in the meantime.
